We're pregnant!

Hello Everyone. Big News, and with Olivia's blessing, I am making this public knowledge now with my blog. She's about 10 weeks pregnant now. Long story short, we conceived during the honeymoon, on our first shot. We're superstars, and we're thrilled. Unfortunately, there has been some challenge for her, and that has included some serious not just morning sickness, but general sickness 24 hours a day, ceasing in a minor way when she is sleeping. Poor girl. I can't relate to how difficult this has been for her, but I have been doing as much as I can to make her comfortable. I've made a few mistakes here and there, which I'll detail out for you in an attempt to shed a humorous light on it, but which will also no doubt earn me the criticism and wrath of some other formely pregnant or currently pregnant people. I've decided to write a book entitled, "Critical Things Not To Do When You're Spouse Is Pregnant." Here's a brief top 5 things that have been mistakes in the last little while...

1. Don't douse yourself with cologne. Actually, don't wear cologne.

Your wife is very averse to different smells, tastes, and sights right now. Splashing some Old Spice on might be a good, and a very fresh idea once you get out of the shower, but if you're planning on hugging or kissing your lady, you can bet that she will react in a hostile way if she smells that shit on you. To her, It's as if you've put 100 lbs of garlic around your neck, anticipating a vampire attack, and then pounded fifty shawarmas with extra everything. You reek. Unless you want projectile vomit in your face, I would not suggest doing this, and expecting a favorable response.

2. Don't decide to attempt middle eastern, or european recipes at home, during the first trimester.

My attempts to make lamb meatballs, sauce, and something I made up called couscous casserole went unappreciated. You wonder why? Maybe it's because to her, it's like stationing her in a sulphur factory. Also, dressing like a sheik while doing this, attempting to get a laugh....not cool, and...not funny. This leads me to my next tip.

3. Be aware of a changing in moods and sense of humour.

I learned this the hard way. I used to playfully wake my wife up in the middle of the night. I realized that she didn't really like that kind of thing anymore, since sleep is precious to her right now. There's a bunch of stuff that I used to do, like tickle her, run around the house, act juvenile sometimes in a cute way....nix all of this shit. It's all over, at least for a little while. What you used to think way a fun way to fool around and just be funny with your one and only...well, that is the last thing she wants to do right now, and if you have a reaction like...."Hey...I'm just fooling around....take it easy", you're bound to be cruising for a beating, or you'll quickly establish a reputation as being more concerned about your own feelings and having a good time, as opposed to being aware that she is going through a hell of a time right now. I'll admit that this is something that I am still working on...and to some degree, was rather unprepared for...but it's a work in progess, right? This leads me to my next point...this is an important one.

4. Don't EVER talk about your feelings, and how the pregnancy is hard on you too.

This is like the prime commandment for all dads to be. Fer crissakes...don't do this, unless you want to be ridiculed forever.

5. Develop a hotel policy..."Whatever, whenever".

This is critical. When Liv and I stayed at the W Hotel a few times...once in Montreal, and once in Mexico City, we got well acquainted with this policy that they have. They'll literally do whatever you need...move a body, get you tea, late night dinner...whatever. They're that commited to ensuring that you know that they want to make your stay as comfortable as possible. You need to develop the same kind of mentality. Long story short, be ready and willing to drop everything you're doing, and get her whatever she wants to eat, drink, or watch. She needs to know that you're there to help her through this. I think that since there is such a big division between labors (no pun intended) in bringing children into the world between men and women, resentment as to how easy it is for guys has a higher chance of developing in couplehood. Remember that your lady is bearing the brunt of the problem, and regardless of your opinion about it or anything else, you need to be as supportive as possible.

So. With that said and done...we're going to be parents.